Sunday, August 15, 2010

If You're In California, You Might As Well Get Gay Married

If You're In California, You Might As Well Get Gay Married

I realize it takes time to plan a wedding, but let's just get it out there - the window for this gay marriage thing may be a little small, so hurry up and get your flowers all set up already because you see Judge Vaughn R. Walker essentially lifted the stay so gay couples in California can get married again.
RT @freedomtomarry: BREAKING: Judge Walker lifts stay, and same-sex couples now have the freedom to marry in CA #Prop8 – Please RT! #lgbt
You hear that noise? It's the sound of 24 million Yes on 8 dollars that just went down the drain. Vaughn R. Walker is not only gay, but he's also awesome. Though he's probably going to get hot by some other judge who will then claim insanity or something.

I mean, marriage is still state-subsidized rape and all, but oh well, good for the gay community now. The nuclear families are the cells of the capitalist cancer when you think about it.. Remember that movie "I pronounce you chuck and larry" where in the trailer they were supposed to be fake gay married and someone was all like "why don't you kiss" and then they were all "ewwwwwwww"

Yeah, millions of people laughed at that unironically.

According to the media pundits, it's now only days away till they also lift the ban on dog marriages and my taboo love for my welsh corgi can finally be publicly consummated.

Just FYI, the stay has been extended for at least another week, so gays can't get married just yet but then again, I'm not even gay and I half want to marry some other guy just because we can. Or should I take it one step up? I have this horse I want to marry, they should be able to help me out on this one, right?

You know that the Yes on 8 will file an appeal to the 9th, and a three judge panel there will determine the standing issue. If the prop 8 supporters are denied standing by the 9th, then they have to appeal to the Supreme Court. Who will then determine standing and send the case back to the 9th as necessary.

While all this is a bit confusing and not very helpful without a singing and dancing bill to help guide you through the process, it still shows that Walker's stay decision was a long "Fuck you" to the Prop 8 supporters and strongly spells out their lack of standing on the matter.

I'm all but prepping for the "in a 5-4 decision..."/"in a 6-3 decision..." headline now for my eventual blog post about it. Enjoy your window of opportunity while you can, gay readers of my blog.

I do find it amusing that the case is going to be called "Perry v Schwarzenegger" because I like the idea of Arnold's name being enshrined in history books next to Brown v Board. He deserves it after vetoing marriage equality bills twice now.

Do you remember when Prop 8 was first put on the ballot and Arnold said "That will never happen. I will fight it" and then it as put on the ballot and he didn't do shit about it.. and then it passed. Yeah, good times...

I want him to fling a knife through a gay activist, pinning him to a pride float and saying "Stick around". Or perhaps he'll just slide over to a man in a towel on Sauna bench and let out "Hey Bennett, let off some steam"

I guess to his credit he's not defending it and also was part of the petition to the judge to life the injunction. In fact, the fact that the state didn't even bother trying to defend the amendment in court was an important part of the ruling because then the only people fighting for it were the random activists who don't have standing.

Fuck it, I'm just going to go gay marry a Mexican dude for the $$ and citizenship and we'll have gay anchor terrorist babies together. Exactly how? I do not know. But fuck you, America!

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