Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Death And Taxes

Death And Taxes

If there's one thing that is certain, it's taxes. Oh yeah and death. But with this nifty poster you can see that America is in it for the full amount of both the death and the taxes. Oh yes. Look at where the money goes on this chart.

Which is a stern reminder of how much is pissed away in piss poor choices. You can go to this site for the poster.
"Death and Taxes" is more than just numbers. It is a uniquely revealing look at our national priorities, that fluctuate yearly, according to the wishes of the President, the power of Congress, and the will of the people. Thousands of pages of raw data have been boiled down to one poster that provides the most open and accessible record of our nations' spending you will ever find. If you pay taxes, then you have paid for a small part of everything in the poster. "Death and Taxes" is an essential poster for any responsible citizen or information junkie.
Basically it's the best possible investment you can spend into finding out how terribly mismanaged your tax dollars are being spent in. I can now point to something and be all like, Look at this fucking defense spending, Goddamn! Whenever I get into a political argument during a dinner party.

I almost want to see something like this for the world economy. or maybe not. I'm sure the reality of the situation would just make me want to commit suicide to get out of this terrible world in one piece before everyone tears at each other for the last piece of bread.

You'll be surprised to know that the Chinese military budget is slightly more than the cost of Hurricane Katrina. America, as an entity representing the corporations, really is amazingly, staggeringly wealthy.

It's sad that we're spending almost 3 times as much trying to find Terrorist attempting to sneak nuclear weapons around inside the U.S. as we are regulating testing and inspecting the existing nuclear reactor infrastructure. But hey, I guess there's priorities in all of these.

This is also approved by the fuckers pissing away our money.
"I have your chart hanging in my office - I work for the Dept. of Defense, and I enjoy reminding my fellow civil servants of the trust and confidence placed in us by the taxpayer, as evidenced by the sheer magnitude of dollars they send us. For me, it's a helpful reminder of how lucky I am to work here and that I'd better accomplish something meaningful with these resources."

Kevin Marlowe,
Director, Strategic Plans and Policy USJFCOM Joint Systems Integration Command
Oh so tragic I want to laugh... as it's the only way to cope with this sort of thing.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Will That Be Paper or Poor Tax?

Will That Be Paper or Poor Tax?

Ha, just kidding about that multiple choice question cause the paper one is the poor tax. As of July 1st, unincorporated parts of Los Angeles became plastic free. Meaning that stores were not allowed to use plastic bags anymore.

Then on August 1st Long Beach became plastic free. It seemed like there was some sort of movement against the classic T-shirt style plastic bag and it suddenly became the black sheep of all the carry out options.

I'm going to look well past the big brother issue because while I do not like "big government" telling me what I can and can't do or use in my form of capitalism, it doesn't change the fact that this is part of a bigger nanny state situation and presents a lot more issues.

First off on an environmental stand point it's the equivalent of acting like you care but in the process just doing nothing at all about it. The main problem with just having paper as an option for those who don't bring their bags is that paper isn't really any friendlier to the environment.
Issue 1: Energy and natural resources
According to a 2007 study by Boustead Consulting & Associates, It takes almost four times as much energy to manufacture a paper bag as it does to manufacture a polyethylene bag.

Not only do both paper and compostable resin bags use far more fossil fuel in production and manufacturing, but they also use twenty times as much fresh water vs plastic bags.

Additionally, most paper comes from tree pulp, so the impact of paper bag production on forests is enormous. A 2008 article from the National Cooperative Grocers Association states that each year the United States consumes 10 billion paper grocery bags, requiring 14 million trees. Paper bag production delivers a global warming double-whammy; forests (major absorbers of greenhouse gases) have to be cut down, and then the subsequent manufacturing of bags produces greenhouse gases. However, plastic bags are not the more sustainable solution as they use more fossil fuels and raw materials energy, and consume larger amounts of crude oil and natural gas than paper bags.

Issue 2: Pollution
The majority of kraft paper is made by heating wood chips under pressure at high temperatures in a chemical solution. As evidenced by the unmistakable stench commonly associated with paper mills, the use of these toxic chemicals contributes to both air pollution, such as acid rain, and water pollution. The same goes for compostable plastic bags.

Issue 3: Recycling
Studies indicate it takes 91% less energy to recycle a pound of plastic than it takes to recycle a pound of paper. But recycling rates of either type of disposable bag are extremely low. In fact, 85-90% of paper bags are not recycled according to the Wall Street Journal, and 94.8% of plastic bags are not recycled according to a study conducted by Boustead Associates. The bottom line is recycling disposable bags still takes energy and resources - resources that could be conserved if more people simply switched to reusables.

Issue 4: Degradability
Many people choose paper over plastic because they believe it will biodegrade faster than plastic will break down in a landfill. However, there are a number of factors that determine how quickly, if at all, paper degrades – this includes temperature, pH, the type of bacteria present and the form of paper (shredded paper degrades faster.) That being said, it makes more sense to opt for a reusable bag that will last for thousands of uses over a disposable that will end up in the landfill.
So the real answer to all of this is to probably go with reusable fabric bags. But even those have their faults. reusable fabric bags are a breeding ground for bacteria and germs if they're not washed or sanitized regularly. So you probably shouldn't feel comfortable getting your produce and other food bagged in the same area after the customer before you had done what they were going to do there and contaminated it with their potentially dirty bag.

Let alone what germs could be found in your bag if you don't Lysol the shit out of it regularly.

And for what its worth, the carbon imprint of paper bags on the environment is almost 10 fold compared to those pesky t-shirt bags everyone is all up in arms about. It's just a matter that people tend to fall into trends rather than simply being responsible. Logging, transportation and recycling of paper is very harmful. The weight difference alone accounts for a large disparity in fossil fuel usage during transportation. And if you don't believe me, perhaps you should look it up.

In a lot of instances, those horrible little plastic bags get used repeatedly before they are either being discarded, stored with items inside to prevent moisture damage or get used in small kitchen and bathroom garbage bins as trash bags. Try putting something semi-moist in a paper bag and see what happens. Shit, just carrying milk in a paper bag is often a receipt for dropped milk.

They tried doing this sort of program in Ireland and and the interesting results in that after they banned them, the sale of non-recyclable small-med plastic kitchen bags increased almost 75%. It just goes to show you that you can take out an option, but people will still find a means to replace it with a similar option even if it's not any better for the environment. So you're better off doing a controlled risk and just using the least offensive option.

Even here in the states there's people who realize this is the dumbest shit possible.
"Mark Gold, president of the Santa Monica environmental group Heal the Bay, said previous county efforts to promote recycling of plastic bags at grocery stores was a failure."
How is that for responsibility and choice? The sad truth in all this is that previous efforts have been made and no one cares unless it is enforced by law. I'm pretty sure that if you got rid of CRV, people would just throw the cans away and never recycle them. As it is, it's hard to even get people to recycle for the 5 cent deposit that is charged for every can of soda you buy.

But when you think about it, if you put a CRV on plastic bags, you would see a lot more of them recycled. Not to mention that you'll see a lot less of them on the floor and on the streets as it encourages the homeless and those who value their dollar pick them up if they can be redeemed for the cash redeemable value of a plastic bag.

The bottom line is that ALL plastic t-shirt bags available in California are made to be be recycled (it states so right on them) and every major grocery store has a kiosk to do so in. So don't blame the bag and the fact that it's inexpensive, but rather blame those who misuse or refuse to recycle them.

What this ends up turning out to be is just another poor tax. In my area, East Los Angeles, since it is an unincorporated part of Los Angeles, now has a plastic bag ban. You can see how it effects those who go to the local markets who can barely afford their groceries, let alone the 10 cent charge on a paper bag.

They can't afford reusable bag. At least I don't think they can use their food stamps on it... And it's very much true that those plastic t-shirt style bags may not be very easy to recycle, people have been doing so for as long as they have been around. By using them to line the trash cans of their homes or reusing them over and over again, that's the best you're going to get.

Paper bags have a far worse reusable ratio. And while it's easy to buy a reusable canvas bag, it's not the option for many people who are already on a tight budget.

Monday, November 28, 2011



Hey, remember that Fox animated movie when they were trying to get into the field of more "Disney princes" style characters? Yeah.. You may remember this..

I have to admit that I always hated this move because it depicts Soviet people as some sort of fat monsters.
In 1916, Tsar Nicholas II hosts a ball at the Catherine Palace to celebrate the Romanov tricentennial. At the ball, his mother, the Dowager Empress Marie Feodorovna (Angela Lansbury), gives the eight-year-old Grand Duchess Anastasia (Kirsten Dunst) a music box and a necklace reading “Together in Paris” to ease her favorite granddaughter’s loneliness while she is away in Paris. The ball is suddenly interrupted by the arrival of Grigori Rasputin (Christopher Lloyd), a power-mad sorcerer who was banished from the palace by the Tsar. Rasputin sells his soul in order to cast a curse on the Imperial family that sparks a revolution as revenge.
In the film there's an entire song and dance number where a bunch of workers and peasants talk about how horrible life is in the new Soviet Union and how they all long to feel the gentle embrace of the Tsar again.

I'm curious to know if the movie was made before or after that lady in Virginia who claimed to be Anastasia was proven to be just some crazy cat lady. Because I feel like this movie ended with the suggestion that the girl wasn't shot and left in a ditch outside the winter palace and that's why nobody talks about it anymore.

Not to mention the revolution scenes in the film being all sorts of comedy levels of fucked up. And yet many Russians praised the film for its art and storytelling and saw it as "not so much a piece of history, but another Western import to be consumed and enjoyed." Which you have to admit is the real fucked up part of it. We can't even make a RED DAWN 2 with Chinese people as the imperial force without getting shit for it.

Sure, they make old Rasputin look evil, but did you know that he helped the hemophiliac imperial prince by getting his doctors to stop giving him aspirin since it made clotting harder to achieve as it's a blood thinner. Not to mention that his opposition to the war might have saved the regime if some young brash and stupid nobles hadn't killed him and bragged like idiots about how he was tougher than most demons to kill.

You know, this movie is actually a really good portrayal of a turbulent period in Russian history. For example, did you know that Rasputin was a supernatural wizard with a talking bat? The more you know. The talking bat was so popular that it got his own sequel movie as well.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Get Off My Lawn - Occupy L.A.'s Final Day

Get Off My Lawn - Occupy L.A.'s Final Day

Mark your calendars. Tonight, Sunday night is going to be pretty messy. In fact, if you work downtown you probably want to consider calling in sick and making this a five day weekend as Occupy L.A. has been given their eviction letter. It seems that the piss poor excuse for a Mayor we have is trying to shut down Occupy LA.
The City Hall park where Occupy Los Angeles protesters are camped will be closed at 12:01 a.m. Monday, triggering what officials hope will be an end to the nation's largest remaining Occupy camp.

But police might not immediately begin removing protesters who linger, the mayor said at a news conference Friday with Police Chief Charlie Beck. He said officials hope in the coming days to help protesters move their belongings and to find beds in homeless shelters for those at the camp who need them.

The two officials would not say whether police were prepared to use tear gas or rubber bullets to clear protesters who refuse to leave, tactics officers in other cities have turned to while clearing Occupy encampments. "The goal is to do this as peacefully as possible," Beck said.
Hmmm, well. I guess they're going to try to do this as peacefully as possible I guess. But let's be real. This is Los Angeles and considering that all the other Occupy locations around the states have been getting cracked down, the notion that Los Angeles was going to be the home for all those snow birds who are Occupying colder climates, it was only a matter of time before OccupyLA was going to get shut down before that.

The sad thing about the Occupy movement is that they still trust and believe that Obama is on their side. It's more of a slap to the face when the White House is defending the Egyptian protesters again, while they continue a black out on commenting on the Occupation at home.

Gee, thanks Obama for being such a great President of other countries. God damn. I shouldn't be surprised. This is just a classic disconnect between foreign policy and domestic policy. A president can say A about foreign policy and B about domestic situations and policy without ever facing any serious consequence that they contradict each other. That and Goldman Sachs doesn't have as much there as they do in the USA.

It comes to no surprise that all this eventually comes back to bite the US in the ass every time, such as Egyptian security forces doing the pot calling the kettle black routine. Though if there's one thing in common we will soon have, it's that we'll soon have a glorious death from above.

Apparently there is new legislation in the works in the senate and it evidently passed through without so much as a congressional hearing for the following:
Although I haven't seen the actual text and lack the ability to vouch for the validity of these claims. The ACLU is claiming that revisions to sections 1031 and 1032 of the NDAA for the 2012 fiscal year will allow the United States military to perform domestic combat operations and allow for the indefinite detention of 'combatants'... which considering the new operational jurisdiction may be American citizens.
So basically they can bring predator drone strike goodness to the domestic side of things now. I have to ask, what the fuck is going on with us? It's as if they straight up don't even give a fuck or even pretend to act like they care anymore about the rights of the people. Just look at this shit:
In support of this harmful bill, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) explained that the bill will “basically say in law for the first time that the homeland is part of the battlefield” and people can be imprisoned without charge or trial “American citizen or not.” Another supporter, Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-N.H.) also declared that the bill is needed because “America is part of the battlefield.”
Ah, just what we needed, the feeling that America is filled with terrorist of all shapes and sizes that need to be taken out with predator drones.

Anyhow, getting back to the Occupy Movement - It's just a matter of seeing how the LAPD reacts when the time comes that push turns into shove. Best of luck to whoever is out there currently and will be there at 12:01 when the bullshit excuse that the lawn needs maintenance and people need to leave it comes about. Or maybe it won't be anything bad at all.

The Occupy Montreal got evicted early yesterday and they left peacefully with no arrest being made. Police eventually removed the remaining protesters - including a man dressed up as Batman who tried to hug an officer. I just have to wonder though, what the fuck? Dressed as Batman? Way to miss the point completely that Bruce Wayne IS the 1%

What it really feels to me is that it's approaching the end of Occupy LA and the movement as a whole. LA will probably be the signal that the beginning of the end of the movement is upon us. I can't really say I'm surprised to see it coming,

Even if the raids made everyone a bit angrier and more desperate in those other cities, L.A. hasn't had any sort of problems in the past two months. They were expecting that with the colder weather, people were going to drop out of their camps in other locations with L.A. being the one that the weight would fall upon to carry.. and here we are with it about to be taken apart.

I'm just wondering if everyone was expecting the Occupy movement to be something like V for Vendetta, with a big bunch of people showing up and everything gets fixed right away. I can tell you by simple logic that it's not going to happen like that. And maybe I'm being too paranoid. This whole movement started two months ago, so there's bound to be some ebb and flow to getting it working.

Fun Fact: Did you know that minorities have been hardest than anyone because of the recession. Wealth dropped by over 60% for Hispanics and 53% for blacks. With a third of both groups have zero or negative net worth because of the crash. That is what de-regularization and Wall Street did to them.

So how do you watch all this? Well, Oakfosho has been trying to get down to L.A. for the midnight shit to hit the fan. So you could most likely go here and see something.. or donate to a good cause.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Walking Dead To Me Show

The Walking - Dead To Me Show

Jesus Christ, I've seen zombies move faster than the snails pace that the show's season story arc is currently moving at. If you don't know what I mean, then try to remember how the Sophia, the little girl who was lost in episode 1 of this season looked like.

I dare you to try to remember how she looked like. So I'll be surprised that when they reveal that she was turned into a zombie in episode 7 that anyone will even notice... or even care about it to begin with.

Then Lori told Rick about her and Shane? Really?! Fucking really? The comic never flat out said that Rick knew. It implied it and that's why he went back to dig up his corpse and finish the job, but for Lori to flat out tell him. Ugh, at least have the baby in her belly be the potential unknown factor in all of this.

For some reason the show just loves to not bother with doing character development in any correct manner. Because then we get to Andrea. In the comics her damsel in distress period is short and gets gradually replaced with a badass markswoman who can take out zombies at 100 yards. I'd like to see the transformation start sooner rather than later on the show. All we've seen so far was a first season of her crying a lot and a second season of her being suicidal and then a perfect marksman in the span of an episode or two at most.

I'm left wondering why Andrea can't progress along at a faster rate, but then I remember that everything on this show is just moving at a painfully slow speed all around. So I should be happy that she's turning from a B-movie screaming damsel in distress to existing so a hero can save her after she does something stupid or clumsy and hopefully soon someone who could hold their own.

The sad truth is that if I haven't read the comics I would have probably thought that The Walking Dead was an okay show and kind of cool for a zombie show. But because I've read the comics, I'm really disappointed and sort of embarrassed at how bad the show is turning out to be.

I don't know how they do it, but the writers definitely have a nose for seeking out the most boring, stupidly uninteresting aspect of literally every goddamn thing in this show. I stopped caring about Sophia about half an hour after she went missing and yet they're dragging it out for the entire second season. You know, when other aspects such as... these guys keeping zombies in their barn because they think they're people and what do you know, this past episode had abortion in just about every other line. Hmmm, I wonder what is being said here in the undertones because I'm thick as shit

At the very least the BBC mini-series Dead Set is a good show about zombies and how people deal with the matter of being stuck in a zombie world. I guess the only thing worse is being stuck in a world full of women hating writers. Because that's sadly what I'm getting from the show.

The writers are going out of their way in making the female characters incompetent and bipolar. Like one of Maggie's first appearances has her whacking a walker on a horse, but one grabs her wrist and now she's powerless to defend herself? Or how about having Andrea cradle her dead sister until it was almost about to eat her, then blow its brains out at point black range? Really?

It wouldn't be so sad if the women were written to be so non-proactive, but I guess you can't blame them for the plot moving at a glacial movement pace. It's not as if Carol is constantly harping that nobody can say or do anything interesting until they find her daughter. Andrea isn't the reason they're all still on Herschel's farm anyway and Lori hasn't said or done anything to obstruct any meaningful progression. The sad truth is that none of the characters are pushing the story along in any way through their actions.

And quickly, what the hell was with the zombie in the pharmacy anyway? It just chilled in there being all quiet until it decided to attack Maggie even though Maggie and Glenn have been in there before and they were having a loud argument before with it not doing anything. Then you have Shane and Andrea being relatively quiet inside a house when suddenly they get swarmed. Except the swarm thins out to about five zombies spread out hobbling towards you when a few episodes ago Shane could barely outrun them even before getting hurt.

With these many complaints and more I just can't believe how much they've botched this show up. Any tribute to the source material would have yielded an at least decent show when you think about it. But as it stands, the dialogue, lack of character development and stagnant plot mixed in with few and far between dramatic action is absolutely embarrassing.

It really has become something that I'm still tuning-in on out of curiosity. I did the same thing with heroes for a time before I eventually gave it up and stopped bothering to watch it.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday

Black Friday

It is upon us. The day that people of all sorts of eduction rush out to be part of the consumer machine. Just remember that capital is dead labour, that, vampire-like, only lives by sucking living labour, and lives the more, the more labour it sucks. Though that sucking eventually gives you some sort of cheaply made Chinese sweat shop big screen.

Then again, Marxism doesn't give you shit like this mind numbing tune as a means to lure you into shopping;

To be perfectly honest, even if I didn't carry socialist beliefs, I wouldn't be doing Black Friday anyway. Not in this economy. Not only because money isn't flowing like the blood of the non-believers, but because Black Friday as a whole is stupid.

Over the weekend I saw people already putting up tents outside of Best Buy trying to score that coveted #1 spot in line for those deals. You want to know when a political movement has reached its peak? When it's getting parody movements done for corporations as Occupy Best Buy is. Which is tragic considering the Occupy Wall Street movement is all about redistribution of the wealth and black Friday is all about giving your wealth to those companies for slightly lower priced material goods.

At least counter to that, Occupy Santa Ana kicked off the holiday season by holding a pair of flash mobs at the checkout lanes of Walmarts there and in Orange hoping to rally the workers to call in sick on Black Friday.

On the flip side of that, it looks like the OWS movement want to increase the unemployment rate considering Black Friday has become a retail rite of passage. In that if you work retail, it's a given that you will have to do in some time on Black Friday. But this movement, as seen on this Facebook page, offered a message to try to the masses:
It is wrong that the corporation you work for is making you come to work in the middle of the night when you should be at home with your family. It is wrong that their profits soar while you struggle to make ends meet. Walmart is exploiting your services and they are undercompensating you for it. This too is wrong. We strongly urge you to call in sick on Black Friday. We strongly urge you to call in sick on Black Friday. You are the 99 percent and we support you.

The reaction? Well, what did you really expect? Of course those people so deseperate to actually work at Walmart and have a steady paycheck, no matter how little it may be, called the flash mob "stupid" and "disrespectful". Hell, the place can't even get unionized, what makes you think they'll make any difference if they call in sick on Friday other than not having a job for them come Saturday.

Anyhow, back to the point as to why Black Friday is sort of a waste - The deals aren't really that great. Or maybe I have more self respect for my time than to piss it away waiting hours and hours - and in this case days for a slightly less than normal % off on goods.

I wonder how many people who are waiting in line could have spent that time actually working or producing dead labor in exchange for currency, I wonder how much extra you'd have after buying the cheaply made product if you used the time a bit more productively. Just wondering, is all.

And I realize that the economy is shit and many people aren't well off enough to afford this stuff normally, but taking days at a time to wait like if it was some sort of twilight fandom thing isn't very helpful. Maybe if you couldn't normally afford that big screen TV with the average sale prices, perhaps it shouldn't be in your pipeline to begin with.

It's not even touching the subject that the average store doesn't carry all that many of the super duper low price items to begin with. You'll be lucky if a store gets 10 of those really sweetly priced electronics. In which case you never had a chance to get it. Not that you would have had much of a chance given the odds of how many people are trampling over each other for the same product. You're really better off, as well as potential medical bills you will incur in the process of trying to get it, just paying full retail.

I don't know how people actually do it. What sort of mentality does it take to wake up early the day after spending time with family... or for that matter going directly from the family turkey dinner and going to places like Target and Walmart to fight each other for those midnight/Friday sales.

I often wake up in sweat and screams thinking about the crowds at any given retail outlet on Black Friday. Why this has to be some sort of "Start to Christmas" or, for that matter, why Christmas has to be some consumerist holiday I will never really understand. But the fact of the matter is that it is and I need to learn how to deal with it.

Final Fun Fact: Did you know that Thanksgiving Eve is one of the biggest drinking nights of the year. I imagine it's because you're going to be spending time with the family and preparing yourself for the doom that is Black Friday shopping. But in any case, the police are going to be saturating the streets with cops all this weekend to catch anyone who is numbing their senses with some alcohol. So perhaps you should lay off that third cup of wine at the dinner table this year.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

America's Fascination With Breast - A Thanksgiving Story

America's Fascination With Breast - A Thanksgiving Story

Yes. It's true. Americans love breast. It's a fact. I'm not going to dispute it. I'm a breast man myself. Though I like a little bit of thigh as well but that's neither here nor there. The fact remains that when it comes to choice of piece of meat, the white variety takes the cake. Or in this case, the gravy boat.

Later today Americans will eat about 40 million turkeys. Well, not just today. In the month of November that number is a pretty solid fact. The one question you should be asking yourself is how those turkey's came to be. And no, it's not a simple tale of the birds and the.. um.. birds. It's a matter of artificial insemination.

As strange as it sounds, about 100% of the turkey's that are consumed by the mass market that you don't buy at Whole Foods for three times the regular price are a byproduct of science tampering with the genetics to get you a better turkey. And by better I mean one with a huge rack.

The general idea is that people want the white meat, the breast meat, because it increases the surface area for gravy to be poured onto it. You also have to factor in that dark meat is considered cooked and ready at a higher temperature.

Broad breasted white pushed out the classic turkey as it grows bigger and faster than regular turkeys and most of all, they have been selectively breed to have bigger breast. This larger breast gets in the way when they try to mate. So as a result, the modern turkey business is dependent to artificial insemination.

For about five months, once a week an employee goes to the male Turkey and gives a new meaning to the word Turkey Jerky, then they go to the hens and pass on the product they collected. This whole process goes on for about five to six months in an effort to meet consumer demand on this most thankful of holidays.

I guess that's just food for thought as you cut into your turkey today. And what if you don't want these mutated freaks? You need to look for a heritage bird, which as I have mentioned earlier will cost you three times the amount of one of these huge rack turkeys.

But hey, at least one turkey is breathing a sigh of relief today. A turkey named Liberty was given the pardon by Obama

Which you have to admit, is pretty ironic given the current political climate. Naming a turkey Liberty that ISN'T going to be killed when it seems pretty clear that liberty has gotten its neck chopped off.

Anyhow, Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your food.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A Conversation About Killing Animals

A Conversation About Killing Animals

To the average American, the killing and preparing of animals for home consumption is the butcher's business. It's a messy process and much like hot dogs, one that many would rather not talk or think about. This isn't a subject taboo for more hunters. And may I add, I have no idea why the even call it a sport. Hunting in the modern day is as far removed from a sport as possible.

The profession of hunting is so far removed from what it once was when there was som danger connected with hunting, as in the days when men used spears for killing game. But today, when anybody with a fat belly can shoot the animal down at a distance, hunting and horse racing are the last remnants of a dead feudal world.

Don't get me wrong, hunting is a perfectly fine thing to do as long as you eat what you kill. And I mean make use of every god damn thing that creature had to justify the snuffing out of its existence. Bringing this back to the start, I think that everyone who eats meat should have the knowledge and the will to kill and dress an animal.

Let's just put it out there, the idea is simple. Humans killed off all the natural predators of deer, so it's really our responsibility to keep the deer population in check. Most drivers do it unbeknown to them when they run into one on the back wood highways of whatever secluded area with low viability in their S.U.V's.

Besides that, hunting looks interesting. I would probably do it if not for the waiting game, which is why I think many Americans who hunt just drive around in their pick up and shoot at shit with automatic weapons like they do in the talkie pictures.

For some, the wait is the best part. Being in nature is a great thing and harvesting her bounty is the ultimate reward for being the apex predator of apex predators. Oddly enough, even with this in mind I do believe that fishing is so awfully boring that I never want to do that again....

... Well, at least not sober.

Maybe it's just that everyone hasn't experienced some joy in fishing. Or maybe it's just that sitting in nature or at the end of a dock isn't exactly exciting in the least. I think it's like my idea of hiking over rock climbing, where in I'd rather be hiking as the time spent will appear more fulfilling in that I'm further away from my starting point for all the energy spent. Much more interesting things to interact with and destroy on a hike than by spending two hours in one spot or going the total of 20 feet up.

On that note though, I do get a smile to my face when I see a dad or mom fishing with their kids. It's at least that step in the direction that it's time spent with the child. Even if it's in the process of killing nature.

On a side note, it's literally shit like this that I will never want to live in the country side.

Maybe this is a situation where being drunk is a key component to enjoying that act like the fishing situation. Though maybe you shouldn't operate a loaded weapon while completely shit faced. You may actually end up shooting the hunting show cameraman.

Though, speaking of the act of killing while not sober, this caught my eye:
The Clark County sheriff’s office received a call from a man who said his hunting partner shot another hunter in the head at Buck Creek State Park before 5:30 p.m. Thursday. A male hunter was found suffering from buck pellet shots from a .20 gauge shotgun to his head and back. He was transported to Miami Valley Hospital by medical helicopter. After investigation, sheriff’s deputies identified the alleged shooter as Bobby J. Fawcett.

Fawcett was squirrel hunting with a friend when the incident happened. Fawcett told investigators he saw an object moving in some thick underbrush and fired his weapon into it, striking a man who was bow-hunting for deer. Fawcett said he and his hunting partner immediately called 911. During the investigation, deputies smelled an odor of alcohol on Fawcett and tested his blood alcohol concentration. Authorities said the test revealed a .12 BAC level, which is over the legal limit to operate a motor vehicle.
Double-barrel buckshot. Ouch. That's some serious shit right there.

I guess we go back to the debate. Should you kill or not kill? I say you should. Though be respectful of the kill... then there's other times when it's just self defense..

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Man Vs. Food - How To Lose Your Lunch

Man Vs. Food - How To Lose Your Lunch

While I'm a sucker for food shows and travel shows. It's when you put the two together and just go to the extreme like they do in Man Vs Food, it's something that I just can't sit through. Cause really, it's pretty goddamn gross.

So really, I just want to make a post about how gross this shit is and things he'd probably or did already say in the few episodes I watched. You know, the ones that I realized he wasn't Patton Oswalt after viewing:

"There is no 'I' in team, but there is 'meat'. There's also 'eat' and 'mate', both things I would like to do to this sandwich."

It really is sound advice for anyone who wants to die of a heart attack at the ripe age of 34.
I've eaten things you people wouldn't believe. 4 pounds of beef on fire off the Pennsylvania turnpike. I consumed 5,000 beans with glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those meals will be lost in time, like the beers... on my plane. Time to die.
Okay, that he didn't say. It's clearly far too poetic for him to say anything near that. But it would have made the episode where he's consuming enough shit to kill a small anaconda a whole lot more bearable.

"Whoa, Toni, getting a little fresh. I like it. Not only the ingredients are fresh here [points to jovial middle-aged woman behind counter]. I got my fries, I got my slaw, that runny egg right there in the middle."

"Oh yeah? Stop babbling! Let me get a word in, you hippie twit. Let me--this is my show! This is my show! Yeah now he clams up. Back to me dropping some wisdom on your trifling ass! Yeah, you call this a pizzeria? Well let me pizza-reiterate something for you, you couldn't even--"

"This has got to be worst month of my life."

"What is this ten pound monster?"

"When the hiccups started I knew it was the beginning of the end."

"Wait, that's Dave? I thought he was Dave. Oh there's two Daves? Jesus Christ."

"I'm in Sarasota Florida here at Munchies 420 Cafe, a place named to confuse the two people left on Earth who don't know that this is a weed reference."

"Look at the size of this god damn pizza! Holy shit! What could possess someone to even dream of making a pizza this big? What kind of even must have happened in your life to make you think, 'Hey, I'll just make a pizza this fucking big and try and market that as a challenge'? What must have happened to you in your life, that you would even consider this? This pizza is so big."

"The kid's got potential, but I need a partner with some serious chow-down cred."

"My eyes won't stop watering, and my tears burn. Oh!"

"At all hazards, a man must keep up appearances. Dignity, I say. Dignity above all, Governor. Hear, hear!"

You sort of expect him to be in a zen like state through most of these things. He must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. He will face his fears. He will permit it to pass over him and through him. And when it has gone past he will take another bit of this sandwich. His eyes and tongue may bleed from the pain but food must not win...

Man vs. Food.

Who will win? The man or the over-sized stuff crust pepperoni pizza? Stay tuned to this exciting battle of will and wits to find out!

Essentially the only good reason I could see myself watching this show is so that I can sequentially see him get fatter and fatter as episodes go on. Do it in one sitting and it'll trip you out. You can do a before and after shot and you too can grow with Adam.

At the very least he's not Guy Fieri. The day Fieri graces your establishment will be the ost money day of your life. But for Guy... it will be but a simple Tuesday. I mean, the guy's a total tool:
Fieri currently lives in Santa Rosa, in northern California, with Lori and two sons, Hunter (age 14) and Ryder (age 5)and has a summer home in Sterling Heights, MI. His 19 tattoos, including one dedicated to Evel Knievel,[3] are part of his look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta".[9] By mid-2010 he owned nine domestic sports cars and a Lamborghini (later stolen[3] and replaced with a Chevrolet Camaro convertible).[10]
I know that when I need to escape the dreary industrial decay and gridlock of Sonoma County, California, I go to my bucolic summer estate in the Detroit suburbs.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Looking For A Date?

Looking For A Date?

This was a bit too much of an awwww moment to not write about. But it seems like sometimes Joseph Gordon-Levitt films have too much of an effect on people. In this case the story from 50/50 inspired one rather cute looking cancer survivor to ask JGL out on a date..

As you might recall, I saw the cancer comedy 50/50 recently and was impressed with it, though it was difficult emotionally for me to watch.

Also, I didn’t admit this in my first post about it, but after seeing Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s performance and seeing/reading some of his subsequent interviews about the film I thought, “This guy gets it. And he’s cute. I wonder if I could ever run into him somewhere.” But even though I live in LA, it seems impossible to find him.

Maybe YouTube can help…

OK, I admit: It’s ridiculous. And it feels like i’m making a big leap from being an anonymous cancer “liver” a few months ago to now starring in my own video.

But, life is short. So, why not?

Maybe she'll settle for Jason Schwartzman instead?

No? I don't blame her. Who would want to be stuck with that Rushmore. I'm sort of surprised that she isn't going for someone who is considered more of a social sex symbol. But that could be due to the fact that there's a pretty big war going on over who is the king of the sexy hill.

Oh, don't follow celebrity gossip and news rags? Well, if you must know, Bradley Cooper got the title of Sexiest man of the year. Even though his acting style is something that I want to punch in the face till the punching stops.

This act of declaration in sexiness from People Magazine didn't sit well with many people. Especially those who were on Team Ryan Gosling. Demands for recounts on this have been made and the people must be heard.

So much so that there is even petitions entitled "People Magazine: Admit Ryan Gosling should have been named Sexiest Man Alive 2011," The crowds proclaimed that 2011 was clearly the year of Ryan Gosling, and really I can't blame them. Did you see Drive? Now that was a movie! I even sat through Crazy Stupid Love for the Emma Stone eye candy.

It's easy to see why Ryan is getting the popular vote here and to be honest, he's one sexy beast. I mean, these articles should also be able to change your mind if you're not already drinking the Ryan Gosling kool-aid.

Bradley Cooper Named People's Sexiest Man Alive: But, Really, What About Ryan Gosling?

63 Reasons Why Bradley Cooper Definitely Isn't The Sexiest Man Alive

Reasons Why RyGo Is the Sexiest Man Alive

Bradley Cooper, The Sexiest Man Alive? I Don’t Think So

I mean, hey may not be a Joseph Gordon Levitt, but maybe the adorable cancer survivor from the beginning of this post will work her way up to asking Bradly or Ryan out via Youtube.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Alcohol Kicking Your Ass

Alcohol Kicking Your Ass

Not to be crude or anything but the most common belief that the quickest way into someone panties was with alcohol. Well, it seems that the kids of this generation are taking that literally - As they're drinking through their private parts.
PHOENIX (KPHO) -It's no secret teenagers sometimes experiment with alcohol, even drugs, but new ways they're finding to get drunk had jaws dropping in our newsroom.

"Quicker high, they think it's going to last longer, it's more intense," said Dr. Dan Quan from Maricopa Medical Center. "This is not isolated to any school, any city, any financial area," Officer Chris Thomas, a school resource officer, said. "This is everywhere."

When we heard how kids are getting drunk these days, we thought no way. So we hit up the experts to find out if it's an urban legend or if it's legit. "There's been documented cases of people going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning just from utilizing it that way," Thomas said.

Thomas spends his days patrolling the halls of a Valley high school. He's heard first hand how kids are getting tipsy. "What we're hearing about is teenagers utilizing tampons, soak them in vodka first before using them," Thomas said.

"It gets absorbed directly into the bloodstream. There's no barrier, there's no stomach acid to prevent it," Thomas said.

"I would expect it to absorb pretty quickly as well, because it's a very vascular structure," Quan told CBS 5.

"This is definitely not just girls," Thomas said. "Guys will also use it and they'll insert it into their rectums."

And that's not all.

"Using a beer bong rectally is the same concept as a vodka soaked tampon," Thomas said.

Rather than the traditional beer bong you'd find at a college party, kids are sticking the tube elsewhere to get wasted.

They're calling it "butt chugging."

Yes, that's right. They're calling it "Butt Chugging." Alert the journalism awards that they got next years winner locked down already. My goodness, this is a piece of journalism gold.

Or maybe this is just a case of white people getting bored. I mean, this sort of shit comes up all the time without any real evidence and ends up being just the local elderly worried about the kids these days. Just look at this article warning about water pipes/bongs disguised as bracelets which are apparently so much the rage with high schoolers that the high school sent home a notice even though they don't mention catching anyone with one. All this ends up being is just some sort of fucking scaremongering by the local news hacks.

Let's be real, I've been drinking alcohol for a long time now and I've never thought to myself "man, how can I get fucked up faster? I know! I'll stick it up my ass or soak a tampon with it and stick that up my ass"

Not even in the most drunkest state of mind have I thought that. You know why? Well, because I would be drunk and in no need to achieve that level anymore. But still, I'm pretty damn sure I would never actively or soberly stick something up my ass in hopes that I get drunk. In fact, it's a catch 22, you'd probably have to get me real drunk to stick something up there and.. well, purpose is defeated.

But in any case, maybe I should look into one of those bracelets and put it on my Christmas list. These kids today are getting smarter and smarter. Maybe they are doing this. I mean, if you put in Vodka Tampons into google, the second result of it is "Vodka for kids". So maybe they are on to something...

What with Thanksgiving coming up, maybe I should load up on some feminine products...

Saturday, November 19, 2011

You're Bacon Me Crazy

You're Bacon Me Crazy

You know what gets me in the mood for some down and dirty sweaty monkey love? Bacon. Oh yes. Nothing screams "take me now, and make me squeal like a pig!" like the scent of bacon on your mind. Thankfully you can recreate that feeling every night in your bedroom without the need of a cast iron skillet and some fatty bacon frying with this lovely new product... BACON LUBE.
J&D’s Foods is pleased to announce the launch of baconlube! Yes, the world’s first bacon-flavored personal lubricant.

J&D’s baconlube™ is water based, proudly Made in America and is the gold standard of meat flavored massage oils. Baconlube is like the McRib of sex - it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time and is in short supply, so don’t miss out.
We only made 3,000 bottles of this pork flavored nectar and it’s available starting Tuesday November 14th at for $11.99 – just in time to make for a very happy holiday season.

FACT - People are passionate about bacon. According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canada’s market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon. Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again. So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome - we’ve got your back.

If you like to Keep It Sizzlin' we’d love for you to be one of the first anointed with baconlube. If you’re interested please email us at SOME SPAM ACCOUNT @ WHATEVS and be sure to include your address and contact info.

See attached release for more info about baconlube and J&D’s Foods.

Justin & Dave

P.S. Yes, this is really real.

P.P.S. Don’t you judge us, we all knew it would end up here someday. And yeah, your right we probably did go too far this time. Sorry mom.
Well, that's....certainly something. It's a good thing they finally came out with this. Up till now I've been trying to find creative ways to involve bacon in my down and dirty seasons without the resulting day after being full of pimples and a big greasy dick. God bless America for this effort in advancement of my personal kink to be able to literally PORK my girlfriend.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that maybe it's not just me, but when I'm in the mood for sex, I don't really associate bacon apart of the thought process in all of it. So you're probably wondering how this all started anyway. It shouldn't surprise anyone that it was all from an April Fool's Joke:
We have one small admission to make - baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool's prank and was never intended to be a real product. When the joke ended, the emails kept coming and coming and coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The baconlube waiting list grew to thousands of people! Expectations were built, we had to deliver.

So who's responsible for this highly anticipated creation actually coming to life? Slightly perverted bacon obsessed people, that's who. And an intern named Martin, who sacrificed and offended his taste buds in the name of science on sample after failed sample before this really did taste like bacon.

We'll make no judgments about why people want this or what they want to do with it, but baconlube is here, it's real and available now just in time for the holidays! Supplies are very limited.
Well then, I know what I'm giving all my vegan and vegetarian friends for Christmas. What amazes me is that 4 in 10 Canadians prefer bacon over sex. Don't get me wrong, I love me some bacon. I just don't love bacon more than I love me some sex.

But if you're going to go that route, perhaps you should spice up the night and swoon your lucky lady love's heart with a dozen of these fine beauties.

Man, am I curious as to what kind of person would really want to receive this bouquet. A greasy couple of strips of dead pig meat shaped like flowers. Even if it is delicious and all that, let's be real here.. bacon is not a romantic food for any normal human being by any stretch of the imagination.

Besides, anyone who would actually use bacon lube during sex... don't they know that the concept is a bit redundant. They already make ranch dressing after all or maybe they're already a regular consumer of buttermilk sauce. Man, that can be some sexy times when you bust out the buttermilk sauce.

What the fuck ever happened with basic whipped cream anyway? Maybe some laid out on body parts to lick off. That in itself is fine. But do you really need to get into strange flavors? I mean, lube just sounds strange. Though maybe you can enjoy both worlds of bacon and some what sane sexual food pairings with this little sucker..

Yup, bacon takes over the world. Is there really any overlap between people who would consider using this and people who actually would have sex? No wait. I'm pretty sure there's someone with low enough expectations that they can find a mate.

Besides, isn't this a few years too late? I mean, are people even talking about bacon anymore? I thought that internet meme and fad went away a long time ago. I'm hoping that you can somehow use this as some sort of emergency provision in the event of an Earthquake

Food for thought on this: Firefighters have suggested that the smell of burning flesh smells a lot like pork frying. Which makes sense considering the flesh of a pig is very similar to humans and is used in a lot of experiments.... So in a sense, we already have that bacon smell in all of us..

In the end most of these bacon-flavored products don't even taste like bacon. They just taste like shit with liquid smoke added into the mix while being a salty mess. But hey, you say it taste like bacon and there you go.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Frank Miller On The 99%

Frank Miller On The 99%

Or how I would have liked to titled this post - FUCK FRANK MILLER! Because check out what he has to say about the 99%
Everybody's been too damn polite about this nonsense:

The "Occupy" movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment. "Occupy" is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America.

"Occupy" is nothing short of a clumsy, poorly-expressed attempt at anarchy, to the extent that the "movement", HAH! Some "movement", except if the word "bowel" is attached - is anything more than an ugly fashion statement by a bunch of iPhone, iPad wielding spoiled brats who should stop getting in the way of working people and find jobs for themselves.

This is no popular uprising. This is garbage. And goodness knows they're spewing their garbage both politically and physically every which way they can find.

Wake up, pond scum. America is at war against a ruthless enemy.

Maybe, between bouts of self-pity and all the other tasty tidbits of narcissism you've been served up in your sheltered, comfy little worlds, you've heard terms like al-Qaeda and Islamicism.

And this enemy of mine... not of yours, apparently - must be getting a dark chuckle, if not an outright horselaugh - out of your vain, childish, self-destructive spectacle.

In the name of decency, go home to your parents, you losers. Go back to your momma's basements and play with your Lords Of Warcraft.

Or better yet, enlist for the real thing. Maybe our military could whip some of you into shape.

They might not let you babies keep your iPhones, though. Try to soldier on.


This is Frank Miller basically saying I "write" and "draw" comics about bloodthirsty nutjobs fulfilling my insane power fantasies of killing ragheads and brutalizing poor people, but you subhuman liberal shits exercising your "freedom of speech" to speak out against the "excesses" of our heroic prime movers in the financial system (among other things) disgusts me. You worthless protestors should join the military to kill anyone I hate and fear, and then use your blood money to buy a copy of "The Spirit" on blu-ray, OTHERWISE THE TERRORISTS WIN!

And while I realize I've made my jabs at the movement, I'm in the stance that they could go further in the opposite direction that ol' Frankie suggest. Join the armed forces? FUCK YOU Frank Miller. I mean, seriously. Why would anyone want to do that? Not even the free education you get out of it can land you a job doing anything more than min. wage and loaded with a suitcase full of baggage from your blank check of service you wrote for this country.

Besides that, who the fuck even cares about terrorism anymore? You know, besides victims of US-NATO imperialism. We're getting raped by corporations becoming people who choose the leaders for their own self interest and we're still even talking about terrorist? Guess what, the terrorism is coming entirely from the inside rotting the entire body inside out.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

If You Believe They Put A Man On The Moon....

If You Believe They Put A Man On The Moon....

Then you have fucking common sense. I can't say how surprised I am by the fact that people still have doubt that we could put a man into orbit and land on the moon. Especially with this most recent Apollo 18 movie that recently came out.

Basically when that came out the whole notion of landing on the moon again came up, which always leads to the basics that someone believes that they don't believe that we landed on the moon.

Basically I was reading that it would have been far more expensive to fake the moon landing than it would have cost to send someone to the moon itself. It basically boils down to the simple fact that while we can film the moon's surface on a soundstage, we are still going to have to launch a real Saturn V into space because everyone can see that. Then we'll have to actually send it to the moon because amateur radio operators and astronomers will be able to track the astronaut's path.

We would also have to land something on the moon, because if we just went into orbit the Soviets, and everyone else, would have known that we faked it. We also would then have had to have something leave the surface, after remotely deploying the reflectors of course. And then re-enter the atmosphere creating a sonic boom.

So in the end, we pretty much had do to everything for real except land on the moon, which after getting all the way there was probably the easiest part of the whole mess.

So after all that, can the people who claim it was staged, could you please shut up now? Oh wait.. Evidence has never shut up conspiracy theorists.

Oddly enough, when ever more convincing evidence is discovered, that's when it makes things worse in their eyes. The evidence is often very convincing which means that the conspirators must be even more powerful than they thought to rise against it and disprove it.

Many thought that the smoking gun had to have been the flag waving because a flag would decidedly not act like that on the moon with its lack of oxygen and what not. However, it would indeed look like that if you had a bar across the top as the pictures indicate. Because they already were prepared for this shit and knew that a flag on a pole would just hang limp there in the lack of wind. So yeah, it was basically a photo op.

The main defense on the whole lack of moon landing is that equipment back then must have really sucked and would be equal to driving your car with your old Compaq. This is something I just don't get. I always get baffled that people are able to refer to the space program in such a blase way. Just the fact that they got it out of Earth and into another celestial body is insanely amazing, but then when you consider how low tech the equipment they used was to do all of this with, it just becomes even more amazing. .

People around the world should all be stopping every so often to sit and calm themselves down because the very notion that people have walked on the moon is pretty incredibly mindblowing, let alone that they did it 40 years ago before the internet. So how about you act a little more like this:

And enough talk about how it's all a hoax. Thank the Lord for the Daily Mail and their intelligent journalists here in the UK. They have explained exactly why the moon landing were not faked with another one of their tremendously accurate articles.
Why are no stars visible in the Apollo photos?
The Apollo landings took place during lunar mornings so the stars were not bright enough to be captured on camera.
Who filmed Neil Armstrong take the first steps?
A video camera was fixed on an extending arm to swing out and capture the historic moment.
Why did the heavy Landing Modules make no impression on the surface, while the astronauts' footprints did?
The layer of lunar dust on the rocky moon is thin, so was blown away from the landing area by the descent engines. This dust resettled by the time the astronauts left the module.
Why does the flag wave?
It was rigged with a rod and wires so that it would look as if it was unfurled and blowing in Apollo photographs.
Why didn't the Lunar module show a flame when it took off from the Moon?
The fuel used does not produce a flame in a vacuum.
Perhaps tomorrow they'll blow the lid off all the stupidity around the 9/11 cover-ups. In any case, this quote sticks out to mind and should be a nice ending to this post:

The universe is probably littered with the one-planet graves of cultures which made the sensible economic decision that there's no good reason to go into space--each discovered, studied, and remembered by the ones who made the irrational decision.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Well, At Least There's Hockey - NBA Gets Nuked

Well, At Least There's Hockey - NBA Gets Nuked

It looks like the NCAA TV Contracts are about to get a lot more lucrative as the NBA season has been pretty much kissed goodbye.

The only downside is that there's no NBA to draft players from though. But over all, a collective FUCK YOU is being said by the millions of NBA fans and I'm sure they hope that he gets sued for triple damages by the team owners. At this point there's nothing to do but enjoy their "Nuclear Winter" in Basketball. No matter how you shake it, the owners are going to get fucked and it's going to be utterly awesome.

Because the owners aren't negotiating, so they sort of deserve it. They are just saying "Take this shit sandwich or take this even worse shit sandwich". They are claiming losses but are also unwilling to open their financial records to actually prove those losses. They've refused to meet in an effort to delay negotiations and make it harder for players to take part of other legal remedies. They are misrepresenting and purposefully obfuscating their financial position to claim hardship as one of the bases by which they say they want to cut player salaries by 18% and more of.

Their stance is that we should all be looking at those millionaire players and see them as greedy fuckers for having such a high salary for playing a game.. You know, all while ignoring the billionaire owners who are getting paid to do absolutely nothing.

At this point it's just a question on how likely is it that the end results will be an all new all-scab NBA. But for those of you thinking that you may have a career in the all-scab NBA, don't hold your breath. This is, after all, a lockout and not a strike. The owners don't want to have games at all. So it's kind of hard to claim that the employees are at fault here when you are preventing them from fulfilling the contract terms that you are obligated to pay them over.

At least there's some ways they can make an honest buck...

The scary part is that most white basketball fans won't even miss it with the NCAA. The average white person likes college ball more anyway because it's "more fundamental and less about showboating". All of which are traits that come with being a more white people sport.

Obviously the owners in all this are Capital and should be viewed as entirely bad. Which makes you question on why exactly you should be supporting the players making millions of dollars. The reason you should is because the players are not overpaid. They're actually underpaid. If there was no player's union and collective bargaining agreement, the players would be making around 50 million a year at the top instead of about only 15 million.

It's a sad fact that 60% of the players go bankrupt in retirement, most are signed to 1 year contracts, they're typically underpaid compared to athletes in other sports and owners fudged their numbers and aren't really in the red. But even at that, the players' income is directly tied to league revenue. So saying that they're "overpaid" is an indictment of your own consumption habits of the sport.

But even with all this, we still have a sort of proof that Americans are utterly stupid in every way possible:

And while that is a small sample size, it's still pretty bad. I'd like to see the overlap between people who answer ESPN polls and people who are fucking stupid as shit. Because I'm pretty sure they're all one in the same.

It's also sad to realize that many people who have this stance seemed to be more sympathetic to the players during the NFL labor talks, but not so with the NBA talks.. and it just boils down to a lot of people thinking that the "players are just greedy" when it comes to the NBA.

No wait. That's not interesting so much as it is just flat out shitty. Hmm, maybe that's not as bad as a football player. Apparently the average American football player makes it to age 28 before retiring. And they have to endure some crazy shit. A linebacker tackling somebody at full tilt has the approximate force of a car hitting a brick wall at around 30 mph.

Your average basketball player, on the other hand, has the chance to do this after making a fly ball...

Welp, that one clip changed my mind. Fuck basketball for this season. Just declare the Lakers winners so we can get on with the riots. Daddy needs a new TV.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Occupy Your Computer

Occupy Your Computer

Yesterday the New York Police Department decided that they needed to break up the NY division of Occupy Wall Street. How did they do that exactly? But with what else, this thing:

What is that dish on top of a truck, you ask? I'm glad you have an interest as you should turn up your computer speakers all the way to the furthest that they can go and right before your head could potentially explode and click play on this video:

Annoying, isn't it? The technical name for it is the "warning tone", which works on the same principle as the memorex wine glass to vibrate your skull till you can't take it any more. It's really quite loud in the general area altogether. So the police wear protection, but the field of real effect is really focused.

Sadly there is some OWS members who think that the LRAD is just so that the cops can talk to the public really loud and is not actually a weapon. Those people are fucking morons. The police wear earplusg because while it's doing the DEATH SOUND it lets out a really loud BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP which is audible to everyone nearby even if you're not in the Death Sound Zone. Which is what you were hearing in the video.

Now I know you're asking yourself "Couldn't they just shoot and damage the panel preventing it from being functional?"

Why yes, they can do that. Choose to do that, on the other hand, is probably not the wisest thing. As I'm sure that it's not a good idea to shoot a gun in the direction of the cops. Because once you shoot even remotely close to the cops it means you're pretty much committed to escalation that will come in the form of some blunt object hitting your head and a night in lock up.

At the time of writing this a lot of shit is going down in the NY OWS, for example they brought in the bulldozer to take out the encampment. The NYPD was literally tearing and ripping down the safer spaces tent. You know, the tent intended to make women feel safer. Now that's some shit.

So it's just a matter of what you can do? Well, for one thing, you can be an active viewer of this history. Just click on whatever Occupy Movement you want to follow and there's a pretty good chance that the steam will be up for it. BY CLICKING ON THIS TEXT.

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Other 99% of The Coin

The Other 99% of The Coin

It's always hard to see the stupidity that results from those who decide that they're a % of the market that isn't being represented by either the 99% or the 1%. Take for example this fine armed forces member.. '

I'm just really confused by his sign. Yes, that's right. He is the 0.99% and yet he's equal to the 1%? Sure looks like they let him shoot Haji without much of an education.

I just don't understand his claim. Not taking hand outs? He's paid 40K a year to threateningly stare at Okinawan women and he believes he's the 1% of the 99%? It's not like the Federal Government feeds him. Puts clothing on his back while also giving him lodging and will pay for his college education. But hey, he's never taken a handout in his life.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention fucking free healthcare for life? Yeah... keep telling yourself you're part of the 1%. It's shit like this that always annoys the piss out of me. This indoctrination point that happens in boot camp and in infantry school that they keep on repeating till its jack hammered into their head - 'You are the one percent that will serve'.

The problem is that even with his sacrifice of mental and physical hardship for his country, he's going to have egg on his face when he gets back and can't find a job doing anything because military training isn't worth a damn to most companies anymore. Regardless of what your recruiter told you.

I have to feel sad whenever I see someone who actually believes what their employer tells them as if it's in their best interest to keep you happy. Here's a little helpful hint - You will not get massive amounts of ass in foreign countries. Unless of course you want a green card marriage.

In any case, when I see signs like the one I originally posted it gets me so fucking pissed. The only thing I can do to calm myself down is to look at signs like this:

It helps me until my blood pressure is back down. Because really, that's one of the best well worded OWS signs I have read. It's quick and to the point in what the fuck happened wrong with our system.

Sunday, November 13, 2011



If there's any Occupy movement that I'm more proud of, it has to be Occupy Oakland. Oakland just makes me feel really good. Like playing a real good post-apocalyptic video game and having the feeling that you're humanities last hope. Berkeley's OWS group just makes me want to shit in my hand and throw it at the liberals.

Did you know that Havard actually had an OWS movement. Though it was closed off from any of the riffraff. Besides that, it seems like there's not too many 99% there. Not that most of the OWS movements feel like they're actually doing much of anything.

Whenever I looked at the OWS movement a certain film came to mind every time...

So that's why Occupy Oakland just makes me feel like something is actually being done besides the above scene. Maybe it's just because they have had the experience from all those years with the Raiders, but they seem to somehow get it.

Well, you know... I don't like the republicans or the democrats, but I think the best option is to vote for Obama again... How that makes the most sense, I do not know.

Might I add that MIC CHECKS will never not be funny to me. The whole act in itself just seems really really silly. I can just picture it now in other situations
Obama steps into the chamber of congress to deliver the state of the union. he steps up to the podium and waits for the applause to die down. he begins: "the state of our union is--'. bernie sanders steps up and says in his barely audible voice, "mic check". the entire progressive caucus rises to meet him and shouts "mic check" in unison.
then you wake up

Know why I dislike Berkeley so much? Check out the new definition of "nonviolence", courtesy of the UC Berkeley chancellors:
It is unfortunate that some protesters chose to obstruct the police by linking arms and forming a human chain to prevent the police from gaining access to the tents. This is not non-violent civil disobedience. By contrast, some of the protesters chose to be arrested peacefully; they were told to leave their tents, informed that they would be arrested if they did not, and indicated their intention to be arrested. They did not resist arrest or try physically to obstruct the police officers’ efforts to remove the tent. These protesters were acting in the tradition of peaceful civil disobedience, and we honor them.
ahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahah... FUCK!

If only the power of such idiotic mouth farts could be harnessed in canister form, the California cops would never have to buy tear gas again. So no non-violent protester in the history of protesting has ever angered the police--..

The only difference between then and now is that if they had the technology, those hoses would be full of mace and that's about the difference between our generation of activists and my parent's'.

I mean, wasn't that the whole point of non-violent protest and civil disobedience? You know, to make the violence and inhumanity of the law abundantly clear. Isn't this what the liberals have been all about for a long time now or did I just misread the situation?

Anyhow, there has been rumors on when there would be raids on the Oakland camp and it seems to be this weekend the shit is/has gone down. Just look at this open letter from the po-po.

November 11, 2011
On behalf of the 645 Oakland police officers we represent, this letter comes to you out of duty to protect the Oakland community and its citizens.

Oakland police officers are the 99% and we understand and sympathize with your message. We respect your right to peaceful protest.

We are also sworn to protect the citizens of Oakland. Right now, Oakland is in a state of emergency.

Our police officers are the 99% struggling in Oakland neighborhoods every day to contain the 1% who rob, steal, rape and murder our law-abiding citizens. The Occupy Oakland protest, now 30 days old, is taking our police officers out of Oakland neighborhoods and away from protecting the citizens of Oakland.

In an average city in California, this might not be of emergency proportions for its citizens. Oakland is not an “average” city – we have the highest violent crime rate in California. We are the 5th most violent city in the United States – with more shootings and homicides than any city west of the Mississippi.

Last night’s murder, right in the epicenter of Occupy Oakland, is unacceptable. So is the violence being promoted by “renegade” protesters who are lighting firebombs, destroying property and attacking police.

What is even more tragic is that homicides are a frequent occurrence in Oakland. This is the real emergency: Yesterday’s murder was Oakland’s 101st homicide of 2011. It is time for us to stop directing all of our efforts at policing the small enclave of “Occupy Oakland” and get back to our job of protecting the citizens of Oakland in the neighborhoods where our residents live.

The events of recent weeks have shown that many occupiers at Frank Ogawa Plaza are citizens of other communities with limited interest in preserving the greater good and safety of our City.

Please, we ask you: Leave Frank Ogawa Plaza peacefully and immediately so Oakland Police can get back to work fighting the devastating crime that’s occurring in our neighborhoods.

You have sent the world a strong message; now it is time to go home. Your leaving today, peacefully, of your own free will, on the 30th day, will send a message to Oakland that you care about our citizens and respect our city.

With last night’s homicide, in broad daylight, in the middle of rush hour, Frank Ogawa Plaza is no longer safe. Please leave peacefully, with your heads held high, so we can get police officers back to work fighting crime in Oakland neighborhoods.

Thank you.
Come on, you hippies. Think of all the poor people we aren't getting to brutalize because of your non-violent acts. We respect your right to protest, but please respect our ability to shoot you with grenade launchers..

They didn't actually get an eviction notice. Just a notice saying that if they don't clear out, then they're subject to arrest. So if it hasn't happened already, it will be happening by the time this is posted. In short, the shit will hit the fan...

I'm not exactly sure how they expect to clear any of them out. Mayor Quan and the cops said the other day that they have a plan for "peacefull removal of the camp", but I have o idea how they intend to go about it. It's not just going to be the campers; as soon as word gets out there are going to be two thousand people there to provide backup and to take part of the general rioting conditions.

I want to underscore that people in the bay area are really goddamn crazy even at the best of times, and the types of people who are going to go camp in a park for weeks are the craziest of the crazy. So take that as you will.

What with the OPD not having many friends left, I honestly don't think they're going to be able to displace that many people without a full on riot control. Add in that there's a significant portion of the camp that's not going to go quietly and the fact that OPD has to be furious about being on a tight leash for the past few weeks and we've got a recipe for a massacre.

And since they're is always a silver lining, the 99% are actually up for TIME person of the year, as apparently they're just voting this year or something equally lame. Which makes you think that if the 99% gets person of the year distinctly from the "YOU" one they did a couple of years ago, well, I'll continue to not pay attention to what that dumb magazine has to say. It's not like I can tell TIME apart from NEWSWEEK anyway.

On a final note, looks like the police were tipped off...
Gas masks, homemade weapons and potluck dinners are being gathered by demonstrators at the Occupy Portland site, police warned Friday.

Officials said it seemed many of the protesters are building shields and makeshift weapons in anticipation of the site being temporarily closed for "maintenance" on Sunday, according to a press update on the Portland Police Bureau website.

Since city Mayor Sam Adams made the announcement that the park would be cleaned on Thursday, officials said they've seen increasingly ominous signs.
"We understand a call has gone out to Oakland, Seattle and San Francisco and perhaps other cities encouraging people to come to Portland and engage in resistance," the press release said.

Officials also warned they expect "as many as 150 anarchists" to arrive, adding "people may be in the trees during a police action".

It was not immediately clear why having people in trees was dangerous.
Cops are also concerned that Occupiers are attempting to obtain a large number of gas masks.

At the Occupy site, protesters insisted to the Oregonian they were peaceful - but wanted to make a statement.
Why yes.. gas masks, homemade weapons and... Potlucks. Man, those dinners are being gathered by Occupy Portland supporters and the police.. they have been warned.


Saturday, November 12, 2011

Christmas Tree Taxes

Christmas Tree Taxes

This year when you're looking to trees at the tree yard for your yearly celebration of whatever holiday you're doing, you'll be shocked.. no, surprised. Stunned. Even a little miffed that you're going to be paying a whole 15 cents more for that tree in taxes.

As you can see in that Fox News picture, clearly people will be up in arms. I mean, how dare you raise the taxes... even if it's by god damn pocket change you probably wouldn't give to a homeless guy. But that's not the point. You don't want to give it to the tax man... nevermind that most tree growers are in support of the tax
Akin to similar programs that promote milk, beef and cotton, the Christmas tree program will impose on U.S. domestic producers and importers an initial fee of 15 cents per tree.

A 12-member board will direct the money to generic ads and other promotions, as well as research. The promotions, according to the USDA, will present "a favorable image of Christmas trees to the general public," with the intent of improving the public "perception" of Christmas trees and, hence, their sales.

"We have good reason to believe it will be successful for our industry," Betty Malone, an Oregon tree farmer and president of Christmas Tree Promotion Now, said in a telephone interview Tuesday. "We looked at what other industries have done, and how successful they've been."

After three years, growers and importers will vote on whether to continue the program.
You read that correctly. They're putting this tax in so that they can raise the money to create ads to promote the image of Christmas trees and thus increase sales. The whole notion of spending money on adverts to boost the image of a fucking Christmas tree is pretty ridiculous.

Then again, the whole idea of Christmas trees itself is pretty ridiculous as well. But hey, I'm sure they have to rehabilitate the image of Christmas tress. You know, ever since all those electrical fires fueled by all that pitch and the choking hazards of pine needles as they dry up and fly in the living room air.

So the plan, if you are even drunk enough for it to make sense, is to increase the price of an item for the sole reason of encouraging people to buy more of it. And if that's not stupid enough, try raising it by a whopping 15 cents and see how much you can get.

None of this changes the fact that everyone loses here except the Christmas tree merchants. Which brings up a good question, if this is a corporate handout, then why did Obama back down from it?
The U.S. Department of Agriculture is going to delay implementation and revisit a proposed new 15 cent fee on fresh-cut Christmas trees, sources tell ABC News. The fee, requested by the National Christmas Tree Association in 2009, was first announced in the Federal Registry yesterday and has generated criticism of President Obama from conservative media outlets.
Obama sure caved on that mother fucker pretty fast. I probably should be dissing him some more but perhaps caving on this is a good thing as it was an all around stupidly bad plan from the get go. Otherwise I would be complaining that the government backed down on a corporate handout because of public pressure.

Though maybe I should take this moment to come clean here and reveal that it's me. I'm actually a big Christmas lobbyist and this is just a situation of Goldman blowing a Christmas tree bubble. Damn you Merrill Grinch!

Don't Christmas trees cost like 70-80 bucks? How much does a 15 cents tax really effect that? it's like an 0.2% tax on something to get people to buy more Christmas trees. If I did a bunch of work on something and started selling it and got offered a deal to minimally impact my existing customers in order to reach even more customers, there's no way at all I wouldn't take it.

This whole thing is just stupid. I literally can not imagine a less important issue than a $0.15 tax on Christmas trees. Maybe a $0.14 on Christmas trees would be one. But you get what I mean.

It's just sad that Obama is spending any of his political capital he has been saving for years on a Christmas tree tax. Or maybe this is just because he doesn't want to appear soft on Christmas.
President Obama today announced that he planned to fully withdraw all troops from the Global War on Christmas by the deadline of June 31, 2013.
Then again, this $0.15 tax on Christmas trees impacts the poor more than the rich, much like any other flat tax. #Classwarfare

But maybe poor people just shouldn't be having Christmas anyway. How about you LEARN TO SPEND WISELY, POORS! If you forgo Christmas for 100 years, you might be able to afford a car to get to work and a house in a decent school district. Way to learn, morons.

So yeah. Way to spend your time on a pointless subject, Obama.