Friday, May 31, 2013

So Apparently Joss Whedon Went to a Graduation and Didn't turn into a giant Snake

So Apparently Joss Whedon Went to a Graduation and Didn't turn into a giant Snake

Isn't that surprising? I guess he wasn't the master.. or whatever the fuck it was that the Principal was. I can't remember since it has been so long since I last viewed all of the Buffy seasons. In any event, the now famous Avengers director went and made a commencement speech. One that wasn't god awful and it was pretty good. Even though he did say that everyone there is going to die.

On the plus side, they didn't die on this day when Joss Whedon didn't turn into a giant snake and consumed them. But in any event, here it is; 

it’s going well, it’s going well. Thank you, Jeanine, for…making me do this. This is going to be great. This is going to be a good one. It’s gonna go really well. Two roads diverged in a wood, and… no. I’m not that lazy.

I actually sat through many graduations. When I was siting where you guys were sitting, the speaker was Bill Cosby—funny man Bill Cosby, he was very funny and he was very brief, and I thanked him for that. He gave us a message that I really took with me, that a lot of us never forgot, about changing the world. He said, “you’re not going to change the world, so don’t try.”

That was it. He didn’t buy that back at all. And then he complained about buying his daughter a car and we left. I remember thinking, “I think I can do better. I think I can be a little more inspiring than that.”
And so, what I’d like to say to all of you is that you are all going to die.

This is a good commencement speech because I’m figuring it’s only going to go up from here. It can only get better, so this is good. It can’t get more depressing. You have, in fact, already begun to die. You look great. Don’t get me wrong. And you are youth and beauty. You are at the physical peak. Your bodies have just gotten off the ski slope on the peak of growth, potential, and now comes the black diamond mogul run to the grave. And the weird thing is your body wants to die. On a cellular level, that’s what it wants. And that’s probably not what you want.

I’m confronted by a great deal of grand and worthy ambition from this student body. You want to be a politician, a social worker. You want to be an artist. Your body’s ambition: Mulch. Your body wants to make some babies and then go in the ground and fertilize things. That’s it. And that seems like a bit of a contradiction. It doesn’t seem fair. For one thing, we’re telling you, “Go out into the world!” exactly when your body is saying, “Hey, let’s bring it down a notch. Let’s take it down.”

And it is a contradiction. And that’s actually what I’d like to talk to you about. The contradiction between your body and your mind, between your mind and itself. I believe these contradictions and these tensions are the greatest gift that we have, and hopefully, I can explain that.

But first let me say when I talk about contradiction, I’m talking about something that is a constant in your life and in your identity, not just in your body but in your own mind, in ways that you may recognize or you may not.

Let’s just say, hypothetically, that two roads diverged in the woods and you took the path less traveled. Part of you is just going, “Look at that path! Over there, it’s much better. Everyone is traveling on it. It’s paved, and there’s like a Starbucks every 40 yards. This is wrong. In this one, there’s nettles and Robert Frost’s body—somebody should have moved that—it just feels weird. And not only does your mind tell you this, it is on that other path, it is behaving as though it is on that path. It is doing the opposite of what you are doing. And for your entire life, you will be doing, on some level, the opposite—not only of what you were doing—but of what you think you are. That is just going to go on. What you do with all your heart, you will do the opposite of. And what you need to do is to honor that, to understand it, to unearth it, to listen to this other voice.

You have, which is a rare thing, that ability and the responsibility to listen to the dissent in yourself, to at least give it the floor, because it is the key—not only to consciousness-but to real growth. To accept duality is to earn identity. And identity is something that you are constantly earning. It is not just who you are. It is a process that you must be active in. It’s not just parroting your parents or the thoughts of your learned teachers. It is now more than ever about understanding yourself so you can become yourself.

I talk about this contradiction, and this tension, there’s two things I want to say about it. One, it never goes away. And if you think that achieving something, if you think that solving something, if you think a career or a relationship will quiet that voice, it will not. If you think that happiness means total peace, you will never be happy. Peace comes from the acceptance of the part of you that can never be at peace. It will always be in conflict. If you accept that, everything gets a lot better.

The other reason is because you are establishing your identities and your beliefs, you need to argue yourself down, because somebody else will. Somebody’s going to come at you, and whatever your belief, your idea, your ambition, somebody’s going to question it. And unless you have first, you won’t be able to answer back, you won’t be able to hold your ground. You don’t believe me, try taking a stand on just one leg. You need to see both sides.

Now, if you do, does this mean that you get to change the world? Well, I’m getting to that, so just chill. All I can say to this point is I think we can all agree that the world could use a little changing. I don’t know if your parents have explained this to you about the world but… we broke it. I’m sorry… it’s a bit of a mess. It’s a hard time to go out there. And it’s a weird time in our country.

The thing about our country is—oh, it’s nice, I like it—it’s not long on contradiction or ambiguity. It’s not long on these kinds of things. It likes things to be simple, it likes things to be pigeonholed—good or bad, black or white, blue or red. And we’re not that. We’re more interesting than that. And the way that we go into the world understanding is to have these contradictions in ourselves and see them in other people and not judge them for it. To know that, in a world where debate has kind of fallen away and given way to shouting and bullying, that the best thing is not just the idea of honest debate, the best thing is losing the debate, because it means that you learn something and you changed your position. The only way really to understand your position and its worth is to understand the opposite. That doesn’t mean the crazy guy on the radio who is spewing hate, it means the decent human truths of all the people who feel the need to listen to that guy. You are connected to those people. They’re connected to him. You can’t get away from it.

This connection is part of contradiction. It is the tension I was talking about. This tension isn’t about two opposite points, it’s about the line in between them, and it’s being stretched by them. We need to acknowledge and honor that tension, and the connection that that tension is a part of. Our connection not just to the people we love, but to everybody, including people we can’t stand and wish weren’t around. The connection we have is part of what defines us on such a basic level.

Freedom is not freedom from connection. Serial killing is freedom from connection. Certain large investment firms have established freedom from connection. But we as people never do, and we’re not supposed to, and we shouldn’t want to. We are individuals, obviously, but we are more than that.

So here’s the thing about changing the world. It turns out that’s not even the question, because you don’t have a choice. You are going to change the world, because that is actually what the world is. You do not pass through this life, it passes through you. You experience it, you interpret it, you act, and then it is different. That happens constantly. You are changing the world. You always have been, and now, it becomes real on a level that it hasn’t been before.

And that’s why I’ve been talking only about you and the tension within you, because you are—not in a clichéd sense, but in a weirdly literal sense—the future. After you walk up here and walk back down, you’re going to be the present. You will be the broken world and the act of changing it, in a way that you haven’t been before. You will be so many things, and the one thing that I wish I’d known and want to say is, don’t just be yourself. Be all of yourselves. Don’t just live. Be that other thing connected to death. Be life. Live all of your life. Understand it, see it, appreciate it. And have fun.
 Now that's some good stuff.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

It Has Been Zero Days since DC has Done Something Stupid

It Has Been Zero Days since DC has Done Something Stupid

I use to really enjoy reading DC comics. They were fun. They reminded me of a time when I was a kid and life was simple and superheroes were, you know, super. They did good things and stopped bad guys. It was different than what Marvel was doing. Which is nice in its own regard. What with the whole tying current events such as racial violence together with mutant kind and what not.

Recently DC has been going the darker route. I say recently, but it has seriously been a good decade now in that they have just said fuck it and went hard core on it. Killing Ted Kord in Countdown to whatever Crisis was going on. Just yesterday DC continued the death march in a very stupid fashion by killing a pretty popular character out of fucking left field.

What the fuck was that? And in the same fashion as Ted Kord. What a fucking despicable company DC has turned into. Just killing off Catwoman in such a throw away manner. I mean, doesn't she still have her own comic book? Oh, fuck it. I'm sure they'll explain it away that the New 52 Catwoman actually has 9 lives like that bad Batman movie.

Well, with this action a lot of people were saying that this is essentially Fridging Catwoman. A term used to describe how most comic books treat their female characters as nothing more than an object to be toyed with and killed off to get a rise out of our hero. It first came about when Green Lantern Kyle Rayner's girlfriend was killed by a villain and put into a fridge. She served no purpose but to fuck with the hero.

In this instance, she's totally getting Ted Korded far more than she is getting Fridged. Let me explain. Ted Kord was the Blue Beetle and in a run up to a massive cross over event, Ted Kord was shot in the head in the same exact manner as Selina Kyle here. Their death is to serve as nothing more than to show that shit is getting real with this upcoming event.

How the fuck can any company even do this to their characters - let alone their strong female character like Catwoman;

But even if she's not dead and this is a fake out - which clearly has to be the case since she has her own book and her annual did start off a new story, that just highlights this and makes it even worse and more stupid. Why even do this in the first place if it isn't going to stick. You simply diminish the whole act of character deaths by this action. Imagine if Game of Thrones just retconned the dead back to life without any issue or repercussion.

Having her killed and then immediately making it a fake out is just terrible in itself. Why yes, murder a woman, bring her back asap. Who gives a shit, right? Buy more comics and watch out big blue boy scout in theaters in June!

Yeah, I don't think Catwoman is going to stay dead but "here is a horrible brutal image of her bound and tied and then shot in the head, you better believe we're going to pretend she's dead and milk this until the inevitable reveal she's alive" is not really fundamentally different at this point. At best they're trying to get all the emotional investment/uncomfortable imagery without any of the long-term ramifications.

Just look at these death poses. It's not that they killed her off, it's her face is all wide-eyed and her lips pouting. In fact she mentioned to Ivo that he couldn't kill her because he would have Batman to deal with and his reaction is that's what he wanted - then blam! I get that the bad guys are bad guys, but those are really distressing panels there and probably shouldn't be drawn for a comic book reading audience.

It's also pretty comical that you know a major death of a comic book character isn't going to stick because it wasn't leaked out to the media like every other major super hero death has been in the past year or two. In fact, why do they even do that anymore. Comic book characters dying just seem trivial at best. We all know that they're not going to stick and when someone dies and you waste a book on their funeral, the characters themselves mourning are even saying that they fully expect the fallen hero to come back relatively soon.

So why even bother killing off characters in such a manner anymore? Just don't do it. To you DC, I simply say this;

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A Memorial Day to Drink About

A Memorial Day to Drink About 

Wait a minute, I mean THINK. Yes, THINK. Not drink, even though that seems to be what everyone happens to do on those three day weekend celebrations. The next one being 4th of July. Apparently it seems like the police are on to you. So much so that over the memorial day weekend over 500 DUI arrest happened. 529, to be exact.

From 12:01 a.m. on Friday all the way through midnight on Sunday, 529 folks were arrested in L.A. County for driving drunk or on drugs. The CHP took in 35 DUI's between 6:01 p.m. on Friday and 6 a.m. Sunday in Orange County. And all along California was the same sort of thing as 1,133 arrest happened in the same time period.

Is it worth all the police force? Yeah, within that time 15 fatalities happened along the Golden State freeway. So if those arrest prevented any more, then that's a good thing in and of itself. But hey, let's talk money. California earns about 12k for every DUI in legal cost and court fees and what not. Now you multiple that by 530 and you have yourself a nice $6.9 Million take in for the state in that time. With all the money raised by these arrest, California may very well be able to balance its budget if this keeps up.

The lesson to learn from all this - Don't drink and drive. If you're going to be drinking, try to be a bit responsible because it may very well keep you saving a lot of money as well as saving lives.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Take a Hike!

Take a Hike! 

No, seriously. Go out and take a hike. We're now officially in Summer since Memorial day is past us. But before you go out into the wild unknown, perhaps you should take some precautionary safety measures.

Monday, May 27, 2013

In Memory of a Meme

In Memory of a Meme

It's memorial day. A day to celebrate the fallen troops before us. Or is it the one where we celebrate all those who served? I can't recall. Kind of ironic since, you know, it's memorial day and all. Anyway. It's also a solid 10 years since the meme was born. Yeah, that's right. What you take for granted on the internet seemed to have been spawned by these here G.I. Joe clips that have been redubbed. They're funny as fuck and well, take a look for yourself.

It was back in 2003 that Eric Fensler was a bored editor who put these together and let them loose on the internet where they spanwed a life on to themselves and the meme was sort of born. Sure, there was a lot more before then. But this is the point that many will mention that the meme was born.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Of Bathsalt Zombie Survival

Of Bathsalt Zombie Survival

Remember about a year ago when some Miami homeless dude become a "Zombie" victim? In that the other hopped up homeless dude, who originally it was assumed that Bathsalts caused him to literally chew the flesh off Ronald Poppo survived ? Yeah... well, I bet you're kind of curious, at least morbidly, about how he's doing these days.

He was blinded and permanently disfigured by the attack, but the Doctors say that he is happy, healthy and is not interested in undergoing additional reconstructive operations.

So it goes to show that while the act may have been very violent and tragic, there's a bit of an uplifting ending to this in that he is doing better these days.

A History Lesson in Game of Thrones

A History Lesson in Game of Thrones

One more week closer to the end of this third season of Game of Thrones. So how about we put that motto of a Lannister always paying their debt and teaching you a bit about the house of the lion.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Test, Test, 1... 2....3

Test, Test, 1... 2....3

Now that the summer season of blockbuster films are out and in full form, let's take a moment to see some test shots to see how Indiana Jones would have been like with Tom Selleck;

Now how about seeing an earlier work of Toby as Spider-man


It really has a different feeling towards both of those. Sure, Tom carries that uncaring Indiana Jones attitude, but it just comes across far less as well as how Harrison Ford delivers it.

Here's a bonus one with Wonder Woman

Friday, May 24, 2013

Daft Punk'd

Daft Punk'd

So with Daft Punk's latest album dropping and making sweet sweet love to your ears right now, how about taking a moment, or perhaps an hour and a half of ALIVE to help put into perspective how awesome this robotic duo is.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

That Reminder That You're In L.A.

That Reminder That You're In L.A.

For all of you who are home sick of your native land of Los Angeles, here's a little piece of home for you. Nothing says Los Angeles more than Car Chases.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

What's Your Disney Sign?

What's Your Disney Sign? 

So someone made a astrological symbol disney-ized layout.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Daft Playlist

Daft Playlist

Over the internet there was a lot of unsettling remarks about Daft Punk's newest album upon its release. Mainly due to not digging the sort of 70's jazz/electronic sound, but I have to believe that it was simply a matter that the play list for the album was a little off. It started out way too chill. And while it wasn't something you could pop in, jump on the dance floor and get groovy to, it did have a lot of great songs and if you simply play around with the order you play it, oh man how it makes a lot of difference in how it is taken in.

I present you the track layout that I find most benefits this album;

Get Lucky
Give Life Back To Music (minus first 17 seconds)
Fragments of Time (the weakest track IMO)
Giorgio By Morodor
Lose Yourself To Dance
Instant Crush
The Game of Love
Doin It Right

 Try playing it in that order and you'll be blown away.

Monday, May 20, 2013

I Play Synth

I Play Synth 

We all play Synth!

in my mind the llama and the sloth are some kind of weird electronic duo

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Game of Thrones - I've Read Thy Books

Game of Thrones - I've Read Thy Books

I have nothing really of importance to say tonight. So here, have this GoT related video.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

How About You Build A Tardis

How About You Build A Tardis

Unlike some people, I don't have the luxury of a timey whmy space time little blue box and I'm actually very busy today. You hear that? I got shit to do. So I can't really chit chat, I have some tiki thang to be at as well as drinking beer and seeing planes fly and what not. So instead of writing about Doctor Who's season closer that is airing today, I'll just leave you with this message in how to build your own fucking Tardis so you can pretend you're some two hearted time lord.


Friday, May 17, 2013

You Also Could Be A Lucky Loser - The Lotto System

You Also Could Be A Lucky Loser - The Lotto System

Every now and then I see the California Lotto ad and it makes me fucking cringe down to my very center.

That ad is just atrocious in every possible way. I mean, first off, they're polluting the hell out of California. Way to go. But it's not limited to dumping on just California. State Lotteries are popular all over the place and they're just straight up fucking the poor in every possible way. But what many people don't know about lotteries is that they prey on those who can least afford it. Most people never win anything big. And 11 states raise more money from lotteries than from corporate taxes. Beyond the moral, mental health and religious debates over gambling, lotteries are another example on how society preys on the poor and the working class in the worst possible way. How, you ask?

The Poor is the hardest hit by this predatory practice. Simply put, the lotteries take the most from those who can least afford it. Instead of taking those most able to pay, which is the principle of the federal income tax in the U.S., the state leaders use lotteries to disguise a regressive tax that falls on the middle and even more on the poor. A 2010 study showed that household with take home incomes of less than $13,000 spent an average of $645 a year on lottery tickets. Which is a solid 9% of their income. The reason people play varies a lot, but it mixes hopes and dreams with desperation. Poorer people see it as a slim chance to radically improve their standard of living. 

So it should come as no surprise that communities of color and less educated background spend the most on them. Numerous academic studies showed that non-whites spend much more on lotteries than whites, with one study putting the figure at around $998 for African Americans and $210 for whites. Households with income under $25,00 spend an average of about $600 a year while $100,000+ earning families spend around $300. People who never graduated from college spent the most at around $700 a year, while graduates spent under $200. 

They are the opposite in terms of trickle down effect economics. Mainly because they redistribute money up the economic ladder opposed to down it. Most people buy tickets and win very little or nothing. This taking more money from the poor, working and lower middle-classes than from those most able to pay those taxes. These billions are diverted away from local businesses, with the exception of the stores where tickets are sold. It's frankly the opposite of the kind of economic stimulus a depressed economy needs.

Even the tax rates on this gamble shows how it's a 'fuck the poor' compared to other investment tax rates. Just look at the hypocrisy surrounding state lotteries in how taxes are collected on it. Just compare the tax rates on this form of investment with tax rates on other types of investments, such as stocks. State lotteries impose a 38% tax rate on buying tickets. No taxes are paid when a person buys a stock or bond, a more preferred investment vehicle for wealthier households. Moreover, the current federal tax rate for earnings from short-term investments ranges from 10 to 35%.

The Hypocrisy behind the lotto compared to any sort of addictive vice; One of the rationales for criminalizing drugs is that the abuse of which leads to an addiction and potentially drags down the community in theft to feed the addiction and as a whole is a negative to society. But then you realize that state-sponsored gambling also feeds this very same addictive behavior. People who are addicted to gaming, including lotteries treat the lotto in the same fashion. Just spend some time in your local bodega and you'll see people come in jonsing for that lotto ticket or that scratcher card. Finger tips covered with silver shavings from where they couldn't bother to find that quarter to use on it. The whole thing is pretty much fucking the poor in every way possible.

And even if you do win, what happens next is the sickest joke. For you see,

Big winners more than often have their lives turned upside down and ruined. Say you win the lotto and you're suddenly feeling happy. Don't hold on to that feeling for too long so ignorantly, because of the most surprising things that comes with winning the lotto is how a fast infusion of money can completely destroy the shitty life you currently have. It disrupts friendships and destroys families and even invites violent crimes into your home. Con-men begin to target you and there's the situation of jealous family members showing their true color. Some winners end up spending all their winnings in no time at all. Others just use it to fuel more gambling binges.

It's a situation that most revenue strapped state legislatures may find that state lotteries are an easy way to bring in a few hundreds of millions that they need for basic government services such as schools, police, roads and social safety nets, but state lotteries have become an easy way to take from the least wealthy and avoid  the harder task of making everyone pay their fair share of things. It should by all means be considered an economic exploitation of the lower class.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Awkward Footballer

Awkward Footballer

So this Greek footballer celebrated a goal;

Well now.. that's a bit awkward. His excuse? "I didn't know what it meant" and "I was pointing at someone in the stands" and basically "I'm not a fascist, that's what's so insane about it!"

Well then... I mean, at least the dumb fuck got banned for life from the national team.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Steam Punking it up for Dinner

Steam Punking It up for Dinner

Take a look at these interior images of a remodeled New Delhi restaurant that was redesigned by Abhishek Majumder, who is clearly into Steampunk.

I mean, it's no Chinese pot sticker spot, which I think about when I think about Steam and restaurants. But hey, it's pretty cool looking if you ask me. A shame that it's in New Delhi - you know, a place I don't plan on going to any time soon.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Daft Punk Jonsing

Daft Punk Jonsing

With Daft Punk's Random Access Memories coming out in just one week, I know you're chomping at the bits here trying to get your fix. Well, here's a very much guitar filled disc rift to tide you over till next week when R.A.M. comes out

Yeah, I can't wait for next week either.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Art is in The Eye of the Bush

Art is in The Eye of the Bush

A few weeks ago our former two term Iraq war starting President George Bush Jr. had his computer hacked and one of the gems found there was these paintings... Which, well. You can see how wild they are.

Boy, this guy sure has a lot of time to just sit around and paint, I guess. I mean. I know he sat in a school reading a children's book during 9/11, but this just makes more sense as to why he did that.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

A History Lesson in Game of Thrones

A History Lesson in Game of Thrones

While we're reaching the end of this season of Game of Thrones, it's well worth it to you to get a little history lesson to the background of the houses. Here's the first one for the good ol' family of dragons.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Losing Your Marbles

Losing Your Marbles

Ah, another low content day is upon us. But don't fear, dear reader. You won't lose your marbles if you just keep them in a perpetual marble machine!

Well now, that is something rather interesting, would you say? I'll get back to work tomorrow.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friend

Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friend

Pass it over to me. Check out this two pound joint that was confiscated on 4/20 over in UCSC.

Man, that is a mighty big shame because of how long it must have taken to roll it. I mean, just look at it!

Oh for shame

Thursday, May 9, 2013

I'll Make You Eat Your Beard

I'll Make You Eat Your Beard

Yes, that's what happened. As  Two men force a third to eat his fucking beard at knife point. 
Troy Holt, 47, and James Hill, 51, were each charged with first-degree unlawful imprisonment, third-degree terroristic threatening and two counts each of fourth-degree assault for allegedly holding two brothers at knifepoint May 8 at Holt’s Willisburg Road residence. 
Holt allegedly used a pocketknife to cut shirts worn by Harvey and Joseph Westmoreland, held the knife to their throats and threatened to kill them if they called the police. Hill allegedly wielded a sickle blade at the men. 
It was unclear what started the altercation. One statement on file in Anderson County Circuit Court said an argument ensued over a woman. Another claimed it started over a lawnmower.
Joseph Westmoreland was apparently working at Holt’s residence, cleaning out stalls, when the incident began. 
“Everyone was drinking then all hell broke loose,” he said in a statement to police. 
.... Two witnesses told the officers what happened, though including one who said that the last thing he saw was Holt cutting off Harvey Westmoreland's beard and making him eat it

Asked what it was like to eat his beard, Harvey Westmoreland said, "Well, did you ever chew on a sponge? That'd be about what it would be like."
Westmoreland, who declined to be photographed, now sports a full brown beard tinged with gray on the chin.
"It's all water under the bridge," he said. "I wished it had never happened, to tell you the truth. But I don't wish neither one of them ill will. I don't wish them no harm. I hope they both have a good Thanksgiving and a good Christmas and a Happy New Year."
 I really don't know what to say about this situation other than it is beyond strange. I mean... it's not even the guy eating the beard that's funny to  me. It's that absurdity of having a disagreement with someone and your first thought being "I'll make you eat your fucking beard!"

Like.... um, why?

But, like, why?! Maybe the guy was really proud of being so beardy and stroked it all the time in such a show-boat manner. To the point that the other guy was all like, "You know, motherfucker, I'm going to m ake you eat it one of these days!"

So what does this guy look like?

I have to say, I do enjoy the hat that says "Southern Style". Like, what, did they BBQ the beard? Slather some sauce all over it? Is that what southern style means or something? Why yes. Dude, take a look at that beardy dude's hat! I have just the right idea from this.

I really can't get over this story. It's nagging at me like an infected tooth. Bugging at me all day. I guess if you take any argument from the deep south to the gay community and it becomes both grimmer and more hilarious. Eating beards.. HA!

In any case, I bet eating your own facial hair would be a lot like going down enthusiastically on Robin Williams, but only less hairy. So clearly the gay community must be all up on this.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Aphex of the Hidden

The Aphex of the Hidden

It's time to look back at some really strange music pieces of years past. First off, Aphex Twin. Which if you know anything about that band, they have a lot of strange imagery in their music videos, but did you know that they have strange imagery IN the music. Take a look at this video;

You see that encoding is what the sound looks like. Wait till the end and you'll see some pretty scary shit right there on your screen.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Marge's Breaking Bad

Marge's Breaking Bad

If you're going through some Breaking Bad withdraw waiting for the final eight episodes of the series, how about this tides you over a little; 

Oh Simpsons, your production schedule sure makes you seem outdated.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Welcome to the World of Tomorrow From Yesteryear

Welcome to the World of Tomorrow From Yesteryear

The 50's were a strange time. We had all the spoils and vigor of winning WW2 and it seemed like things were going up up and only up. It was a sort of TV dinner and Leave it to Beaver wholesome fun. So it's fun to see what they thought the future... which is now our present, was going to turn out to be like. Just take a look at this Tex Avery and MGM crystal ball prediction.

The Wold of Tomorrow! (According to Tex Avery and MGM in the 1950s) from Kyle McArdle on Vimeo.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Five Cocktails Some Douchebag Moronic Internet Journalist Believes are overrated

Five Cocktails Some Douchebag Moronic Internet Journalist Believes are overrated

Title says it all. I realize that in this modern day and age, any aggregating simpleton can just write a bunch of dribble on the internet and slap the name journalism on it to call it an article, hell, I take full use of that. Though I know the difference between putting out an opinion and just trolling the internet and bar going community.

A difference that internet writer of words, Jenn Wohletz, seems to have either successfully trolled drinkers with, or is just bitter about not getting their drinks fast enough. But with this sort of start to their article, it's hard not to think they're off their fucking rocker;
There is a thin line between self-indulgence and being a dickhead, a line that any bartender could draw for you. On especially busy nights at any watering hole, there is always at least one person who decides to order some outdated or ridiculous beverage that takes up valuable bartender time, makes everyone else wait for their drinks, and earns the irritating imbiber the unofficial -- or official, if you are at some bars -- title of dickhead.

First off, if you're going to a bar on a Friday or Saturday night and are not prepared to have a long wait or be elbow's deep in people, not to sound like a dick, but stay the fuck home. You should know better. Or at least you would if you actually went out enough. Bars get slammed on that day. There's no two ways about it. And if you can't handle a slow battle of getting your drink done whichever way you want it for the amount that they'll charge you, then sit and fucking spin.

The rationale they are using is that it's a dickheaded move to order a slow to make drink in a fast-paced bar. I'm sorry, but now a days in the era of the term mixologist getting tossed around, most drinks take a long time and have complicated ingredients like egg whites and various forms of bitters and garnishes.

What's the first drink on her hit list and why?

This cocktail is called an old-fashioned because that's pretty much what it is, and ordering it at any bar at any time is something only special sorts of dickheads do, because they know it's a pain in the ass to prepare -- there is a sugar cube and muddling involved.
I'm sorry, has this chick actually been to a bar or ever made a mixed drink? Old-fashioned is probably one of the easiest drinks to make. Perhaps if you find the task of muddling sugar, fruit and bitters together before pouring bourbon into it, you shouldn't be a fucking bartender. It's really one of the most easiest drinks to make and my assumption here is that she's trying to be edgy and anti-hipsters who seem to have taken a liking to this classic mixed drink after Mad Men gave it new life

She also mentions that bartenders will roll their eyes at you if you order it. Which to me, if I'm somewhere that rolls their eyes at anything I order, I'm out the fucking door. You're a bartender, not a judge. So you really can't place judgement on what the patron orders. They are your tippers and anyone who does so will probably be out of a bartending gig sooner rather than later.

Strawberry Daiquiri
Only dickheads order strawberry daiquiris (exceptions given to people who ordered them between the years of 1980 and 1989) -- and this means you, too, ladies. This frozen, blended drink should really be made at home, by parents disguising low-grade rum they're serving to friends, and secretly pilfered by teenagers -- because it would take an industrial waste tanker filled with these daiquiris to get anyone drunk enough to do anything really cool or really stupid.
As someone who loves Tiki drinks, I am not going to say this is a bad drink. Yes, it requires a blender to make, but more than anything, what sort of bar really can cater to this request anyway? Ones that can will probably have no problem in giving it to you because they can easily make money hand over fist considering how little actual alcohol they would need to give to you, given how easy it is to mask under the sugar filled stuff.

Top-shelf dry Martini
Dickheads usually order these because they don't know any better, they've seen people order them in movies (shaken, not stirred), and they are convinced that having this particular cocktail in front of them will get them laid all Mad Men-style. Here's the rub -- most bars don't even bother carrying dry vermouth, and the ones that do usually keep it somewhere out of easy reach and will just say "bucket-fuck-it!" and make the drink without it, anyway. Dry Vermouth was used back in the Prohibition era to take the edge off when homemade vodka was distilled in bathtubs and could strip the paint off fire engines.
What fucking place DOESNT' have vermouth? That bar shouldn't call itself a fucking bar and again, if you are a bartender and don't like to take two steps in making a drink, perhaps you should find a new job since making a Martini is extremely easy.

I don't know how to even consider taking any writer seriously if they feel like vermouth isn't a very common item used in any place that would make martinis on any common level. Even to give misinformation on the history of an item, considering that vermouth had been used in martini's long before prohibition. But hey, this moron wants to keep sounding like they actually know anything about bars...

Lime Flavored Beer
Bartenders cringe when they get in cases of bad beer adulterated with lime flavoring, because this stuff is like a dickhead magnet. Dickheads love this crap because it saves them the huge hassle of having to squeeze a fucking lime into their beers; adding an actual lime to a pint of cheap lager takes too much time away from pretending to be a med student with a high GPA. And what if that pesky lime pulp soils the aesthetic integrity of your knock-off polo shirt? This boner-brew is cheap because it tastes like a winning combination of aluminum siding and crack sweat, making your bar tab low and your rep even lower, because paying a dollar a bottle for beer if you aren't homeless or in high school is something dickheads do to avoid a big bar tab -- or a decent tip to the bartenders.
Now given that I love me some good craft beer, I shouldn't defend this one. But let's face it, not every bar can get a keg from Russian River or Firestone Walker. So it's pretty common for them to offer something for those who don't want a mixed drink. I'm also very confused on why the writer is hating on this because it means the patron doesn't have to squeeze a lime into a cheap lager. In fact, the majority of the bitching this fake ass journalist does has little to nothing to do with the actual beer itself or why it's a dick thing to do. I don't care if someone pretends to be a career they aren't. And at worst, what does this do for the bartender in ordering it? It's not very difficult to pop a bottle cap with a bottle opener and be done with it.

You don't have to wait long for the bartender to finish this order up, if anything, order whatever fucking beer you want. Not on tap means it's less time to work on yours and it's a given that you tip a buck a beer. How is doing so considered cheap? I don't even know what to say other than this bitch is stupid.

Which leads us to the last drink item.

Virgin Drinks of Any Kind.
One of the most dickheaded things you can do is order a slow drink in a fast-paced bar, and when you ask for a cocktail that requires a blender and you aren't even ordering alcohol in it, you are wasting the bartender's time, acting like a panty-princess, and holding up the line for people who ordered real drinks.

Forget wanting to hang out with your social group on a Friday night. Don't you know, if you're in a bar and not getting completely shit faced, then perhaps you need to go. Well according to this gal at least. I'm not sure I get it. I'm a pretty big alcoholic, but if someone wants a non-alcoholic drink, more power to them. I'm not one to force it upon them if they don't want to drink. Most of all, their money is still good here, so why the hell not allow them to drink whatever the fuck they want to drink?

How about pregnant women or folks who aren't drinking anymore but want to socialize with friends? I'm sorry, but this women writer is probably everything wrong with blog journalism. It's not based on anything besides some editorial opinion pieces of an uneducated woman who has an axe to grind with her own hangups.

This is a prime example as to why no one will ever take online journalist seriously and it's a rather shame that writers like this give the rest of us a bad name.

Oh yeah, happy fake Americanized Mexican Holiday. Enjoy your taco bell or whatever you're going to try to eat in honor of your gardeners or whomever you feel is Spanish enough for your St. Paddy's day like festivities.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

May The 4th Be With You....

May The 4th Be With You.

Today is all sorts of nerd festivities day. We have free comic book day. A day when you can go to your comic shop and pick up a free copy or two of various funny books. It's a great way to see how DC has fucked with your favorite characters in order to generate new sales with those who don't usually buy comics anyway.

But what other nerd festivities today holds is May the 4th. A day when Star Wars fans everywhere use the play on words to celebrate a franchise that people hate three of the six films. Which will soon be hating 4 of the 7 films once Disney cranks out the next one in a couple of years.

What else is the truth behind May 4th? I'll let this political ad tell you;

Friday, May 3, 2013

Disney World's Tron Fast Track

Disney World's Tron Fast Track 

No fucking fair. When Tron 2 came out, sure Disneyland got its own Tron inspired event in ElecTRONica, but that rave like atmosphere was only so cool for so long. I'm very much lamenting the fact that Florida got a way better Tron inspired Fast Track conversion.

Just look at this, how much better is it than anything we got in Sunny California.

I'll just be over here pouting some, User.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Iron Man, Iron Man, Banging Whatever Tony Stark Can

Iron Man, Iron Man, Banging Whatever Tony Stark Can

Sure that's the bastardization of the Spider-man song of the 70's, I know. But I sort of was out of ideas and this was just too much of a good jab at this next little clip. It's for the Iron Man Parody Porn. Yeah, I mean, it was only a matter of time.

The only real question is how long it'll take Disney to sue the ever living shit out of them for everything they are worth. I mean, parody aside, it's Disney here and that trailer was a shit ton of Iron Man knock off visual effects and very little porn stars 'gettin it on', you hear. But hey Lexi Bell, so maybe I'll check out it... you know, for the um.. hmmm.. to see if it's faithful to the comic books.

Yes, that's it.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Cats Through History

Cats Through History

Cats, my friends, are one of the most cutest things around. But don't let that cuteness fool you, they're evil. They already took over the internet and kill any productivity that you could possibly have. It's a given that it will happen like that. I mean, just look at history.

Which just gives you that warm feeling knowing that cats have always been set upon disrupting human comunicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakfjdjljfkldnlkd.lslkjslkgsglflsglksffjlfggff